Marriage that lasts...

About half of all pregnancies are unplanned. Some women get pregnant hoping that their boyfriends will want to marry them and that they will stay together forever. But when the boyfriend finds out about the pregnancy they may want the mom to discard the baby through abortion. They might agree to marriage, but the likely hood that the marriage will last is very low. Or they may leave because of the pregnancy and the deception of thinking the baby will help him stay will be quickly dissolved. I have known several families where the marriage did not survive when they got pregnant first then married. The divorce hurt the wife, husband and children; leaving scars that last a life time.

Using the baby to try to keep, trap, trick the father into a marriage relationship is not fair to anyone involved in the relationship. Yes the father should not be having sex with the mom before marriage, and because he is choosing to do so he is possibly self-centered, irresponsible, and immature...is that the "ideal" husband that the mom is looking for?

Waiting to find the best person to marry, a man that will love and cherish you for who you are usually comes later in life. For a teen, college student, or person in the early twenties it is good to know that long lasting relationships normally don't form until the mid to late 20's or later. When my parents were young things were different and getting married at a young age did mean a marriage for life. Today a marriage at a young age; especially a marriage that was prefaced by a pregnancy with the parents both young; usually ends in divorce. My parents were married young, they were 19 and 20 years old...and this July they will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. I was also married young, I was 21 years old for my first marriage ...yes notice I said my first marriage... it ended in divorce. If we would have had a child before marriage and still got married I don't think that our relationship would have lasted as long as it did. Also at 21 I did not think that I was young…but I was. Recent studies have also shown that brain development does not stop until age 21, so making major decisions like having sex, getting married and having children before the age of 21 is especially not wise.

Things that I wish I would have known then that I know now:

• Wait for Mr. Right
• Don't get married based on your emotions
• Marriage takes a lot of work
• Wait to get married until you are a whole person
• The other person will not complete you...the movies are wrong when they portray that

A single mother is more likely to meet and marry her ideal husband later in life if she makes an adoption plan and places her child for adoption instead of choosing to parent as a single person. 

If you have fond yourself in a pregnancy and you would like to learn more about all of your options, if you are considering marriage, getting pregnant, having an abortion or if you would like to learn more about adoption please call or e-mail. 
1-800-553-2229
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/