Portales News-Tribune

“It is an honor to work with birth-parents, children and adoptive families," says Malisa Williams. “Being a part of forming families through the blessing of adoption is an amazing benefit of my job."

See the attached newspaper article to read more about our services:
Newspaper pntonline.com/

Christian Child Placement Service, Adoption Agency
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.LovingAdoptionOptions.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
twiter: @pregnancy_adopt
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

Unplanned Pregnancies

Unplanned pregnancies can occur at anytime and to anyone. Although some choose to raise their child, others are looking for options. No matter if you are choosing to parent or wanting to look at all of your options we can provide help during this stressful time. We provide an important service by helping the birth parent sort out their options and find resources.

Christian Child Placement Service, Adoption Agency
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
twiter: @pregnancy_adopt
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

Adoption Poetry

“To Parents of Adopted Children”
written by Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, who was adopted.

You cannot change the truth
these are your children
but they came from somewhere else
and they are the children of those places
and of those people as well

Help them to know all about their past
and all about their present
help them to know that they are from extended families
that they only have one parent or set of parents
but that they have more mothers and fathers
they have grandmothers, godmothers, birthmothers, mother countries and
mother earth
they have grandfathers, godfathers, birthfathers and fatherlands
they have family by birth and by adoption
they have family by choice and by chance

Childhood is short
they are our children to raise
they are our children to love
and then they are citizens of the world
What we do to them creates the world that we live in
Give them life
Give them their truth
Give them love
Give them all that they came with
Give them all that they grow with

Your children do not belong to you
but they belong with you
you cannot keep them from what is theirs
but you can keep loving them
You do not own your children
but they are your own

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
twiter: @pregnancy_adopt
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

Unplanned Pregnancy Options

"I have so much love for the adoptive parents who are raising my son. They were there to pick up the pieces I was unable to place. I couldn't have chosen a better family to raise my son! They are perfect! God led us together for a reason and I believe God opened my eyes to a whole new outlook on life!" ~Birthmom

To lear more about options with an unexpected pregnancy follow the link:

Unplanned Pregnancy Options

The Adoption Poem

The Adoption Poem

Once there were two women who never knew each other,

One – you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make yours,
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.
The first gave you life, and the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you a need for love and the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality; the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent; the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions; the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile; the other dried your tears.
One gave you up – that’s all she could do.
The other prayed for a child and God led her straight to you.
Now you ask through all your tears the age-old question through the years;
Heredity or environment – which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling – neither – just two different kinds of love.

-Author Unknown

Christian Child Placement Service

e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org

http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/

http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife

1800-553-2229

NM Licensed Adoption Agency's

The Christian Child Placement is a member of the Adoption Alliance in New Mexico. This alliance of adoption professionals are caring adoption workers who want the best for each person considering adoption.

Here is a link to all of the licensed adoption agency’s in NM:

http://newmexicoadoptionagencies.org/alliance-of-nm-adoption-agencies

Christian Child Placement Service

e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org

http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/

http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife

1800-553-2229

5 things I Wish I'd Known Before Marriage

When I have the opportunity to talk with a premarried couple, here are some of the things I say:

#1: Marriage is not all about you. It is not about your happiness and self-fulfillment or getting your needs met. It is about going through life together and serving God together and serving each other. It is about establishing a family. It is about committing your lives to each other even though you may be very different in 5, 15, or 45 years from the people you are now.

#2: Getting married teaches a very painful lesion; you are both very selfish people. This may be hard to understand during the happy dating period, but it is true...and shocks many couples during their first years of marriage. It is important to know this revelation is coming, because then you can make an allowance for it and you will be a lot better off with those adjustments.

#3: The person you love the most is also the person who can hurt you the deepest. That is the risk and pain of marriage. And the beauty of marriage is working through your hurt and pain and resolving your conflicts and solving your problems.

#4: You can't make it work on your own. It's obvious that marriage is difficult; just look at how many couple’s marriages today end in divorce. This is why it is so critical to center your lives and your marriage on God who created marriage. To enable your marriage to last a lifetime you need to rely on God for the power, love, strength, wisdom and endurance you need.

#5: Never stop enjoying each other. Always remember that marriage is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed. Enjoy the little things of life with your spouse: food you like together, movies, inside jokes, laughing, games, leisure time, etc. Also make memories together, plan dates, getaways reserving time for each other after you have kids. When you get old you will then remember what you did together, saw together, and created together.

Christian Child Placement Service

e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org

http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife

1-800-553-2229

In the womb: Sensing the world outside

The ability to hear in utero appears around 23 weeks, as any pregnant woman in her second or third trimester can attest; if she sneezes, the baby jumps.

But if the same noise is repeated frequently, your baby will get used to it and stop responding. No need to worry — that's a sign that the brain is developing normally, says Lise Eliot, an associate professor of neuroscience at Chicago Medical School and author of What's Going On In There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life.

Breathing underwater. Your baby begins to "breathe" while he's still in the womb, even though his lungs aren't taking in any oxygen, says Eliot. At around 27 weeks, his fluid-filled lungs will start to expand and compress due to the rhythmic contractions of your diaphragm and chest muscles, which help him develop the muscles and motor circuits necessary for actual breathing. So by the time your newborn takes his first gulp of real air, he'll have had plenty of practice.

Scent from beyond. Starting around 28 weeks, your baby can smell in the womb the same things that you're smelling outside. Some of the evidence about fetuses' sense of smell comes from preemies: In one study, peppermint extract was held under the noses of pre-term babies. Those younger than 28 weeks didn't respond, while the older ones reacted by sucking, grimacing, or moving away.

Your baby's sense of smell is actually enhanced by the amniotic fluid she's floating in, says Eliot, because we're better able to smell things after the odor molecules join with a liquid (like nasal mucus). During the third trimester, the placenta also lets odor molecules pass through it more easily. So when you order that vibrant smelling dish in your ninth month, your baby is taking in the aroma right along with you.

Christian Child Placement Service

e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org

http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/

http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229

Pregnancy Options

click here to view the site: Pregnancy Options

If you’re considering abortion you may be asking yourself the question, “When does life begin?” It may be confusing when Pro-life and Pro-choice advocates will tell you such different things. With the help of advanced technology, we are learning more about the growth of the baby inside the womb. Consider the following; around the 20th day after conception a baby’s brain, spinal cord, and nervous system are already established. The 21st day the baby’s heart begins to beat. At 35 days five fingers can be distinguished on the baby’s hand. Around 40 days brain waves can be detected. At the 8th week everything is now present that will be found in a fully developed adult. By the 13th week it is apparent that the baby is a boy or a girl. The baby can hear by the 5th month of pregnancy. When you are 7 months pregnant the baby’s fours senses are working; the baby’s vision, hearing, taste, and touch are all intact.

If you’re considering getting an abortion, but want to know more about the baby development first, please contact us. Our caring staff desires to provide you with honest answers about abortion and treat you with respect and the utmost dignity.

help@unwantedpregnancyoptions.org

Advocates for Ethical Adoption Practice in New Mexico

Dear Advocates for Ethical Adoption Practice in New Mexico

The Restricting Predatory Adoption Practicess bills almost made it to Governor Martinez’s desk for her signature in March. We’re trying now to get it on the Governor’s call list for the special session in September. We cannot tell you how much appreciate the time, energy and thought you have invested in advocating for ethical adoption practice in our state. It takes persistence to get a bill passed!

Please write (best) or call the Governor Martinez (505-476-2200) asking her to put the Restricting Predatory Adoption Practices bill (2011 session HB125 and HB158) on her call for the Special Session. Please include your full contact information.

Governor Susana Martinez
Office of the Governor
490 Old Santa Fe Trail
Santa Fe, New Mexico 87501

Please send an email copy to adoptally@gmail.com

This time the bill will start in the Senate with Senator John Ryan as sponsor. Like Representative Al Park in the house, he’s an adoptive dad. This is a completely non-partisan issue.

Your letters in the past spoke passionately and eloquently of your relationship to adoption and the importance for ethical, legal adoption practice in our state. Other points you could include are:

1) The urgency of this matter due to predatory, unlicensed, out of state businesses dominating adoption in New Mexico..

2) These proposed amendments to the Adoption Act would close loop holes that currently allow unlicensed predatory adoption businesses to operate in New Mexico without over-sight, regulation or penalties. 32 other states have had to enact similar legislation.

3) Birth and adoptive families cannot distinguish between a legitimate adoption service provider when they see advertising in the yellow pages, newspapers or by electronic medium and are drawn into extremely expensive, illegal and often perilous adoption processes.

4) In 2011 session we had enormous support throughout the legislative process. This bill should fly through committees. The legislators understood the urgency and importance of this concern.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife

Unexpected Pregnancy

Whether you have been married for ten years or are only in a relationship for a few months, an unplanned pregnancy can change your whole world. We understand those concerns, and have been working with women who had unexpected pregnancies for over 30 years. Over 3 million of the 6.4 million pregnancies in the US are unplanned. Almost two-thirds, or two million of those are unwanted.

Most of those unplanned pregnancies, over two-thirds, are to teens and girls in their twenties. Many of those young ladies do not seek prenatal care for their pregnancies, and increase the risk of a preterm baby or low birth weight baby. We are here to help you understand what you need to do to care for your unborn baby, and to offer the complete picture of what options you have.

If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy and don’t know where to turn, please call us. We have caring staff that are willing to help in any way we can, and provide you with the information to care for your unborn child and yourself. You can call us at 1-800-553-BABY or email us at help@unexpectedpregnancy.net

"Unplanned"- voice for life and women in crisis

If you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and would like support we are here to help!

The documentary "Unplanned" shares Abby's story, it takes you back to the Planned Parenthood clinic where she worked for years as a pro-choice advocate. You’ll hear directly from Abby how a few moments in a room of that same clinic changed her perspective, and her life, forever.

In this intriguing and inspirational story, you’ll follow Abby on a journey into her past—through her wrestling with an incredible personal dilemma and making a difficult choice—and ultimately to her current mission to fight for life and help women in crisis.

Follow the link http://uniteforlifewebcast.org/ to learn more about the  documentary "Unplanned."

Contact us for unplanned pregnancy support.
e-mail: help@pregnantandalone.org; 1-800-553-2229

Considering Adoption

If you are experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and possibly have other children already quiet time to yourself may already be minimal.

Tranquility—a little peace and quiet—I need more of it. Do you? For the average American woman, rest has become an elusive dream. More often than not, we are stressed with the double burden of working a full-time job and taking care of family. For most, it is pretty overwhelming and exhausting. When I finally have the time to relax, am annoyed by the thoughts of what has not yet been done.

If you are weighing your options with your pregnancy we are here to help you.

Learn to release your hands and rely on God to make it through your day. He promises not to give us more than we can handle. Be sure to understand and discern what we may be trying to handle beyond what God asks us to.

As the day progresses, cast your burdens and worries onto Him.  God will still be sovereign even if you do not have time today to finish what can wait for tomorrow. Relax in His perfect peace.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229

The First Year of Life

"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red, and yellow, black and white they are precious in his sight- Jesus loves the little children of the world. " As I watch the movie, Babies, I'm reminded how special children of EVERY ethnicity are. It makes the childhood song from church, "Jesus loves the little children of the world" even more special, when you can take a glimpse at the first year of life from babies from Mongolia, Namibia, San Francisco to Tokyo.

Adoption Story

When Po the Panda ventures out with his team “the Furious 5” to save Kung Fu and China from villains, he learns that he was adopted as a young cub. At this news, Po sets out to learn of his identity and where he came from. This heroic tale will inspire adoptive families and is a must see!

Pregnancy Symptoms

Now that your pregnant, you will want to get some education on baby development so that your baby will get all the good nutrition he/she needs. If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, please feel free to call our agency if you'd like to talk and work through all the options that are available to you right now.

Week by Week Pregnancy

Have you wondered what your baby looks like as he/she is growing inside of you.  This helpful tool will show you how!
\http://www.babycenter.com/fetal-development-images-gallery

The 5 Love languages

Have you ever felt like you were speaking a different language with your boyrfirend/ girlfriend, or husband/wife?  Perhaps you have tried to communicate something with the best intentions, but somehow ended up in a big argument.   Sometimes families just need a little education to begin communicating better with their families.  Gary Chapmen gives some helpful tools to begin speaking in your wife or kid's "love langage."  Have your family take the test to learn their love language.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

Adoption Stories

When David Platt preached on James 1:27,  "Religion that Our God accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world," the response of the church was extraodrinary.  Families decided to put their faith into action by being foster parents, and starting the process of adoption.  Be inspired by watching this beautiful video of families who have changed Birmingham and the lives of children:

http://www.brookhills.org/local/adults/care-for-children.html

How do I find the right person to date?

By: Focus on the Family
How can I find the right person to date? I'm a Christian high-schooler who is anxious to please God, but my past relationships with members of the opposite sex haven't turned out to be very positive experiences. What can I do to avoid this in the future?

You're to be commended on your diligence, foresight and obvious desire to please the Lord. Unfortunately, many young people don't give much serious thought to issues like dating, marriage and sexual purity. Instead, they allow themselves to be led by feelings and passions and wake up at some later date filled with remorse and regrets.

As you move forward in this important area of life it's vital to bear in mind that the most important aspect of any relationship is the character of the individuals involved. You may be attracted to someone by personality or physical good looks, but if there is no depth of character behind the veneer you'll find it hard — if not impossible — to forge a lasting and meaningful bond with that person.

People get to know one another on the level of deep and genuine character by spending lots of time together. Before becoming romantically involved with an individual of the opposite sex, you should do the hard work of building a real friendship with that person. As the two of you go through a wide variety of experiences together, you will have many opportunities to discover the truth about one another's morals, values, attitudes and ways of treating other people. This crucial information will help you decide whether or not you want to go beyond the stage of mere friendship.

In Galatians 5:22 the apostle Paul gives us a wonderful list of qualities that you can use as a "character reference guide" when considering the possibility of becoming more closely involved with an individual of the opposite sex. A person who manifests the fruit of the Holy Spirit, says Paul, will exhibit peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are precisely the characteristics you want to look for in a potential life-partner.

Don't misunderstand. We're not recommending that you hold other people to an unrealistic or perfectionistic standard. We're all fallen human beings, and this means that we often make mistakes and behave in ways that are completely contrary to the qualities included in Paul's list. That's where the Holy Spirit comes in. That's where we come face to face with our deep need of God's grace. Nevertheless, if you find yourself strongly attracted to an individual who doesn't display several of these characteristics, you should probably think again. That person is definitely not a good dating prospect — no matter how smart, successful or good-looking he or she may be.

If you're not involved in a solid, Christ-centered youth group, we'd suggest that you do some research and find a church in your area that has one. Make sure that it's based around things like discipleship, spiritual maturity and Christian service rather than just fun and games. Take part in group activities that include members of both sexes and get to know as many people as you can. This will equip you with the wisdom, maturity and discernment you'll need in order to recognize a potential mate when you see one.

Our last piece of advice may be the most important of all: seek wise counsel from trusted Christian adults. Talk to your parents about this issue. Make an appointment to discuss it with your pastor or youth leader. If for some reason you don't feel that you can broach this subject with your mom and dad, find out if your pastor can match you up with a mature, happily married Christian couple in your church. If all else fails, give us a call here at 1-800-553-2229.

Christian Adoption Agency

If you are just starting to look into adoption or you have been considering the adoption option for a while now we can help you learn more about adoption and help you select the family you would like to place your child in.

The Christian Child Placement Service has been committed to supporting birth families and helping children since 1979. We can help you with your needs immediately.

Our services are extensive for birth parents. We are available seven days a week and we are on call just for you. We care about you and your child. We provide free, ongoing support without judgment.

Contact us today!
Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

Starting Out a Dating Relationship

When couples mistakenly look to each other as the sole source of encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness and compassion, life becomes complicated.

from Focus on the Family

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Philippians 2:1-2

We are given a truly beautiful picture of marriage in this scripture: being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. It’s a glorious tapestry to imagine, especially as a couple begins their life together, but it’s also an imagining that can be wrought with questions like how to even begin to weave such glory.

What we need to know is that we are not called to do the weaving; we are called to yield to the Father so that we can be woven together by Him.

Look at the first part of this scripture and consider what each person has the potential to bring into a marriage out of the overflow of their relationship with Jesus: encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness and compassion. What an amazing description of what we long for in marriage. It is from that springboard in which a couple is able to discover the rhythm of their life and love together.

When couples mistakenly look to each other as the sole source of encouragement, comfort, fellowship, tenderness and compassion, life becomes complicated. We are called to offer these things to each other, but if our source is not Jesus, we will be quickly depleted of these gifts and will harbor resentment and feelings of inadequacy in our relationship.

Let us first encourage one another in our personal relationship with Jesus, and then let Him craft our corporate relationship with Him, and we will watch with humility and awe as He begins to weave us together in Him.

Lord God, the colors of your heart are stunning. Take those colors and weave us into a tapestry of your design. As a couple, let us yield to You and trust that You will cover us in your love. That in our lives and love You are glorified.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

What It Means to Be Intimate

"Our souls crave intimacy"—by: Erwin Raphael McManus
Sometimes singles will do just about anything to get close to someone they find interesting, intriguing or just plain irresistible.

One single woman I know drives through Starbucks daily to get her dose of caffeine. One morning as she approached the speaker to order, she noticed that the man in the truck in front of her looked very attractive. She eyed him through his rear view mirror. Wow! Handsome! Hmmm. . . I wonder if he's single. In a split second she made a plan.

"Hi. Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get started for you today?"

"Well to start, can you do something for me? Will you ask the guy in front of me if he's available?"

"You mean the guy in the truck? Suuuuuure. I'd love to. What else can I do for you?"

After she ordered her half-pump, no whip, soy, Venti mocha, she laughed at herself and thought, What in the world have I done?

She blushed as the hunky man in the truck pulled to the drive-up window. She watched as Ms. Starbucks asked if he was available. And then, in a flash, she watched as he drove away.

When she got to the window, she learned through Ms. Starbucks' giggles that he was indeed, attached, married even.

Sometimes singles—and everyone else on the planet—will go to great lengths and even make complete fools of themselves to get close to the opposite sex.

Why? Is it because our innate desire for sex? Is it because of loneliness? Desperation? Stupidity? Hormones? Of course, it can be all of the above, but the answer I'd like to focus on is: intimacy.

The human desire for intimacy, for love, drives us to do things that we never thought we would. But why, and what does it mean to be intimate?

Being Intimate Means "In-to-Me-See"

One evening over dinner with a friend, we spoke about intimacy and what it means. She shared a cute little phrase with me to remind me of intimacy's true meaning. "It means ‘in-to-me-see,'" she said. Ah yes, it's a blending of our heart with another's, so we can "see into" who they really are, and they can "see into" us.

According to Dictionary.com, intimacy is defined as, "showing a close union or combination of particles or elements: an intimate mixture."

Being intimate involves the mixing of our life with another's, a mingling of souls, a sharing of hearts. This is something we all long for because it's how God made us. We were designed to connect.

Real Intimacy is More Than Sex

Maybe you are wondering about sex. Granted, sex is a part of intimate expression, but it is not intimacy.

In his book, Soul Cravings, Erwin Raphael McManus writes:

"Sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love, but we are only lying to ourselves when we act as if sex is proof of love. Too many men demand sex as proof of love; too many women have given sex in hopes of love. We live in a world of users where we abuse each other to dull the pain of aloneness. We all long for intimacy, and physical contact can appear as intimacy, at least for a moment."

When Janet married Ryan, she was convinced that even though they were not emotionally close before getting married, that sex would change all that. After all, she'd seen the movies; she had watched television where two hearts blended into one once they became sexually involved. Sadly, she was heartbroken when the emotional connectedness she longed for didn't show up after she made it to bed.

Real intimacy is not found just by merging bodies in sex. When Jesus said, "and the two shall become one. . . " I can't help but think that He meant more than just the physical. After all, how many couples go to bed at night, share their bodies, but not their hearts? Undoubtedly, many of these people would say they are very lonely. Why? Because just as a garden hose is not the source of water, but only an expression, or vehicle for it, so sex is not the source of intimacy, but an outlet (or expression of) it. No matter how hard you try, if real emotional and spiritual intimacy does not exist before sex, it most certainly won't after.

Real Intimacy Makes Us Feel Known

Real intimacy makes us feel alive like we've been found, as if someone finally took the time to peer into the depths of our soul and really see us there. Until then, until we experience true intimacy, we will feel passed over and ignored, like someone is looking right through us.

Sadly, we can miss out on intimacy that can make us and another person feel known, when we predetermine what we think we should see when we examine their life, heart, personality and soul. When this happens, we will try to mold and make them into who we believe they should be. As a result, we are blinded to their good qualities and love and intimacy are destroyed.

Many years ago, when I dated a young man, my mentor told me, "Shana, if you focus on all that he is not, you'll miss what he is." I've since learned that when we ignore another person's beauty and all that God made them to be, intimacy is lost. Why? Because intimacy flows out of feeling wholly accepted just the way we are.

Real Intimacy Begins With You

Perhaps you are wondering how you can build an intimate relationship. In addition to accepting another person just how they are, (Note: This doesn't mean accepting any form of abuse), real intimacy can only begin once you know yourself. Since intimacy means "in-to-me-see," how can anyone "see into" you and who you are, your fears, dreams, hopes and desires unless you know who you are and are willing to allow someone in? Experiencing true intimacy begins with being connected to your own heart.

Granted, sharing who we are with others is often not easy. All love is a risk. I admit, it can be uncomfortable exposing the deepest parts of ourselves. Thankfully, you don't have to do it all at once because developing intimacy is like peeling an onion—it can happen just a little at a time while trust is developed.

Intimacy With God is Real and Rewarding

Because God made us, He intimately knows us better than anyone can. For this reason, He can make us feel known in a way that no one on earth is able; and in this we can experience intimacy in an indescribable way. Intimacy with God through His Son Jesus has been the most rewarding and life-changing thing I have ever experienced.

My prayer is that you will first experience the joy that comes from having an intimate relationship with God and that out of that love you have experienced with Him, that you will find intimacy with a special someone who will make the load of walking the earth a little lighter.

Learn about the birth process- unexpected pregnancy

The prospect of giving birth can be daunting, and you may be tempted to put it all out of your mind until it happens. But Glade Curtis, advises "In my experience, women who learn about birth ahead of time are more active participants in their own birth process, which leads to better outcomes," he says.

Consider taking a birth class, in which you can learn about the stages of labor, options for pain management, breathing techniques, and medical equipment that may be used during your delivery. Class offerings vary, so survey the options in your community to find the one that most appeals to you. It's a good idea to start looking into classes mid-pregnancy to make sure you get one you like – and have time to take it!

Learn about your options for labor, birth, and after, and make your wishes clear.

You can also learn about birth by watching videos from our library here.

While learning about the ins and outs of delivering a baby is important preparation, it doesn't give you ultimate control over your own labor.

"There are so many twists and turns that labor can take, and no one can predict how it will go," says Dianne Randall, a childbirth and lactation educator at a Hospital for Women and Newborns in San Diego. "The more you understand and accept the unpredictability, the lovelier your birth can be."

Instead of focusing on "the perfect birth," build your knowledge of different labor outcomes and decide how you'd want to deal with the various possibilities. You can learn about your options for labor positions, pain medication, how your baby is cared for after delivery, and more.

help@pregnantandalone.org
1-800-553-2229 (BABY)

Know what to do when labor starts- unplanned pregnancy

Long before the first contractions hit, you'll want a firm plan for who to call, where to go, and when.

Your doctor or midwife should give you a clear set of guidelines on what to do when you go into labor, like when to call and when to head for the hospital or birth center. Decide who will take you there, and have a few back-up folks lined up to help if you need it. Know the route you'll take – this may sound silly, but it will be one fewer thing to think about. This includes learning where to park and which entrance to use when it's time to check yourself in.

You can get a handle on these logistics by taking a tour of your hospital or birth center. On the tour, you'll also learn about basic policies and see the labor rooms and nursery.

If you can, register for the delivery ahead of time and get the paperwork out of the way. When labor rolls around, you'll be able to bypass the bureaucracy and breeze – er, waddle – right in.

Pack your bag a few weeks before your due date

The last thing you'll want to worry about when labor starts is whether you have a toothbrush packed. Ease your mind by getting your bag together a few weeks before your due date. Refer to our comprehensive packing list for the hospital or birth center or, if you know you're having a c-section.

In addition to the essentials, think about personal items that can make your hospital stay more comfortable. I bought nice slippers so I could feel good walking around the hospital, and I also brought my robe when I had my children.

e-mail: help@pregnantandalone.org

Adoption Music Video

Every adoption is its own unique story. Here at the Christian Child Placement Service (CCPS) we tailor make adoption plans for birth parents and adoptive families so they can have their unique adoption story.

An expectant parent considering an adoption plan and adoptive families have rights, and CCPS is pleased to advocate for each individual during and after the adoption process so their tailor made adoption plan can be fulfilled.

An expectant mother with an unplanned pregnancy who would like help and support can contact us anytime day or night. We provide information on all options with an unexpected pregnancy and all of our adoption services for birth parents are free.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex. 14

Marriage & Relationships - Interpersonal Red Flags

Non-Affectionate

This is not the problem for most couples. Often there's a need to restrain the passions that run so strong at this point in a relationship. Setting the flames of romance aside for a moment, is your friend comfortable with giving and receiving affection? Does he/she show appropriate affection to friends, parents, siblings, etc? If two people are less inclined toward affection, maybe neither will miss it. But affection is a part of the way our Creator wired us. Will your friend be able to show affection to your children? Is it uncomfortable for your friend because affection was never received growing up? The affectionate-resistant person would be wise to explore the reasons that touch is so uncomfortable.

Avoids Conflict

Some people just don't want to deal with conflict of any size, shape, or variety. When tension is present, withdrawal or denial serve to gloss over the problem allowing it to be avoided for another day. Obviously, the problem gets bigger with every effort to sweep things under the rug. How does your friend deal with conflict? Does the problem get avoided or minimized?

Conflict is inevitable because we're human. Whether you realize it or not, there's conflict in your relationship even this side of marriage. You might ask your friend the question, "If I have a concern, how can I bring it up in a way that you'll be able to hear me?" Your friend might say, "I don't want to hear it." That should be a pretty obvious red flag for you. Right now your conflicts might be fairly small, but marriage will change that, there's more at stake. If you don't develop a healthy pattern now, it won't get any better in marriage.

Fears Commitment

We might presume that if the person we would like to commit to isn't quite as interested, it must be a fear of commitment. That's not always the case. Since marriage is such an important decision, getting to know a person well makes a lot of sense. And there's no substitute for time.

Yet there are times when a person sends mixed messages, or struggles to commit due to a fear of intimacy. "When you find out who I really am, will you still accept me?" It seems like she's interested, then it doesn't. He appears to want to move forward in the relationship, but then he pulls back. This hot and cold pattern can go on for years. And even if one makes it to the altar, if the issue isn't resolved, it can still cause chaos and insecurity in a marriage. Do you see a pattern of consistency in your friend's commitments in general? Without the ability to commit, marriage is like the sands of an hourglass just waiting to run out.

Isolated from Family and Friends

Does your friend interact with family and friends? How healthy are those relationships? Though we have no control over our family members, family interactions tell us a lot about a person. That doesn't mean our friend will always end up like Mom or Dad, but it doesn't mean one will necessarily end up differently either. If we don't have the ability to pick our family, we do when it comes to our friendships.

Has your friend kept you away from her family? Does he avoid introducing you to his friends? If so, what's the reason? Are there some issues that are being kept from you? Sometimes those boundaries may be necessary, but interacting with a partner's family and friends will provide valuable information for your decisions about the relationship.

Emotionally Stuck at Home

Has your friend been able to leave home emotionally? I'm not saying she shouldn't love her parents, or that he shouldn't respect his folks. Honoring one's parents is a lifetime responsibility. But honoring them is not about obeying them now that you are an adult.

Genesis 2:24 states, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." When a man or woman doesn't leave home emotionally, heartache invariably results. I've talked with countless couples who've experienced this betrayal from a spouse. People may still be seeking parental approval that they didn't receive as a child. A man may still be controlled by his mother, but anything that even hints of control by his wife will be viewed as such. Can your friend set boundaries and say "no" to his parents when needed? Can your friend tell her parents when she disagrees with them?

Distrusting

No matter what someone does, including yourself, does your friend always second-guess the motivation? If you give your friend a gift, does the question reverberate, "What does he/she want?" Granted, our motivations aren't as pure as the driven snow, but with time one's constant questioning will drive a wedge into any relationship.

Distrust often develops as a self protective measure when people were not trustworthy in one's life. "I can be fooled once, but I won't be fooled anymore," may be the mindset. Again, hurt and pain likely exist behind the wall; and without help, the distrust will likely creep into every crevasse of the relationship. Can people be too trusting? Yes, absolutely, and that's a problem of a different kind. But without trust, marriage becomes a daily witness stand. Over time, the distrust will likely increase.

Dependent

It may be hard to imagine, but some people get married so that they can have someone else tell them what to do. They may fear making mistakes, lack self confidence, or want a "parent" to direct or blame their lives upon. It can look a lot like submission, but it's not.

You may see it in the amount of time a friend wants to spend with you. Who could argue against a couple sharing quality time? Every counselor knows the importance of that! But when your friend wants to spend every waking moment together, you'll likely feel suffocated before very long. It can feel flattering at first, but be careful of anything that tends to get out of balance!
2011 Focus on the Family
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing_for_marriage/red-flags-in-a-relationship/interpersonal-red-flags.aspx

Christian Child Placement Service

e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Marriage & Relationships - Character Red Flags

Character Red Flags:
Controlling

Your friend can manipulate in many ways: guilt-inducement, threats of abandoning you, threats of self-harm, yelling, physical aggression, isolating you, pouting, interrogating you, etc. It may be obvious; it may be much more subtle. You might be told that it's really love, but deep down you know that's not the truth. If you see glimpses of controlling actions now, it's fair to say they will likely increase after marriage.

Christian men can hide their control behind headship. Yes, the Bible does speak to the place of headship in a husband (Eph. 5:23), but it's not about domination or manipulation. Jesus is given as the model for headship, the one who came not to be served, but to give his life for you and me. Headship has more to do with servanthood than with being "in charge." It's more about his responsibility before God to encourage the relationship positively than about him demanding his own way. The mutual submission that is stated in Ephesians 5:21 provide a safeguard against marital headship from being used as a club.

Is she able to submit to a husband, or does life simply need to go her way? When a woman has experienced over-control, abuse, or harshness in her years growing up, submission may not come easily. Even when headship is carried out in a loving balanced fashion, she may fear that it will turn into domination. There may still be some wounds that need to be addressed.

Dishonest

"I'm sure she was just stretching the facts a little bit." "He lied to me so that I wouldn't be hurt." It's easy to minimize or overlook instances of dishonesty in a relationship. But lying is often a pattern that pulls the rug out from under a marriage. If you can't trust a person's words, what can you trust about them? Lies that we're aware of are often the tip of the iceberg. We want to trust our friend. But when we find an instance of dishonesty, it causes us to wonder what else has been stretched or distorted

"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment." Proverbs 12:19. What greater picture of the outcome of honesty can we find? Like most sin, lying has momentary purpose, but it leads to destruction. Does your friend have a reputation that his/her words can be trusted? Is truth compromised for gain, impact, or convenience?

Addiction Issues

"She doesn't drink like that too often." "Oh, he told me he's not going to look at pornography anymore." When we want a relationship to work, it's easy for us to rationalize away the red flags. Chemical dependency, sexual addictions, food addictions, etc. will gnaw at the very fabric of a marriage. If you're seeing the problem now, don't simply accept good intentions; the addiction will likely intensify. Your friend likely needs help physically, emotionally, and spiritually to experience sobriety in whatever arena of struggle. People can often "white knuckle" an addiction for a period of time, but when stress, frustration, hurts, and fatigue set in, it's easy to return to old patterns. In most instances, the addiction is not primarily about the "substance," whatever that may be, but about the pain underneath that needs to be addressed.

There's no guarantee that a person will not return to a former addiction, but if there is at least a year of consistent sobriety, chances diminish significantly. Again, the difficult question remains; if I were not saying that something needs to be done about this addiction, would my friend be pursuing help?

Inability to Apologize

We all mess up, no one is exempt. How does your friend admit when wrong? Or should I ask, does your friend acknowledge his/her mistakes? We don't want to be wrong, but dealing with it when we are goes a long way towards establishing a healthy marriage.

People may tend to struggle more with admitting mistakes when they've grown up around critical people. For some, Paul's words in II Corinthians 12: 10, "For when I am weak then I am strong," is experienced as, "For when I am weak then I am worthless."

Writing out an apology may be easier than saying it. Practicing with a small matter may make it easier when the offense has a greater emotional impact. But saying "I'm sorry" needs to happen for a relationship to thrive.

Unwilling to Get Help

If your friend is not willing to go to counseling if you marry and can't resolve an issue together, don't marry him/her. I know it may sound self serving since I'm a marriage and family therapist, but it's true. It's not merely about one's willingness to meet with a counselor or pastor; it's about one's willingness to grow, to be open, and to learn. A person might agree to it now, but conveniently has a change of mind after the "I do's."

There are often two reasons why people will avoid counseling. One, they know at a deeper level that the way they are approaching life and the relationship is not healthy. If it stays an issue just between the couple, one may succeed at convincing the other that there really are no problems, or if there is, the problem is the partner's. On the other hand, if they meet with an objective counselor, it's going to be a lot tougher to keep an unhealthy perspective alive. Secondly, a person may know that there's pain that needs to be faced, but it may scare the person half to death to do so. "If I meet with a counselor, I'll probably have to face some pains I've successfully avoided until now." Of course the price of not facing the pain is a lot more costly than facing it.

What current evidence would lead you to believe that your friend would be willing to get help when married? Is he open to learn from others, or does he know it all? Does she have a humble attitude, or is there arrogance in her tone and words?
2011 Focus on the Family.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing_for_marriage/red-flags-in-a-relationship/character-red-flags.aspx

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Unexpected Pregnancy & Prenatal Vitamins

Are prenatal vitamins really necessary?

Yes. It's hard to get all the nutrients you and your baby need, even if your diet is close to perfect and you eat a broad range of foods, including meat, dairy products, fruits, vegetables, grains, and legumes.

Most women can benefit from taking a prenatal vitamin and mineral supplement. Think of it as an insurance policy to make sure you're getting the right amount of certain crucial nutrients during pregnancy.  If you do not provide your body the nutrients it needs to develop the baby, then your body will take your nutrients needed to maintain your health and give it to the baby.

Taking a prenatal vitamin is even more important for women with certain diets and dietary restrictions, health issues, or pregnancy complications. This includes women who:

•Are vegetarians or vegans
•Are lactose-intolerant or have other food intolerances
•Smoke or abuse other substances
•Have certain blood disorders
•Have certain chronic diseases
•Have had gastric bypass surgery
•Are having twins or higher multiples

What's in a prenatal supplement that I can't get from food?

If you're a stickler for nutrition, you may already be doing a pretty good job of getting what you need. But three crucial nutrients, folic acid and iron, are always included in prenatal vitamins because most pregnant women don't get enough of them from food alone:

Folic acid

Getting enough of this B vitamin can reduce your baby's risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida and anencephaly by 50 to 70 percent. Folic acid may also reduce the risk of other defects, such as cleft lip, cleft palate, and certain heart defects. Taking folic acid may even lower your risk of preeclampsia.

Your body absorbs the synthetic version of folic acid better than the natural one found in food, so even if you eat a balanced diet, a supplement is strongly recommended.

Iron

Most moms-to-be don't get enough of this mineral in their diet to meet their body's increased need during pregnancy, which can lead to iron-deficiency anemia. Avoiding iron-deficiency anemia can cut your risk of preterm delivery, low birth weight, and infant mortality.

Omega-3

If a pregnant woman would like the benefits of omega-3 for their unborn baby but does not want to eat fish taking omega-3 supplements while pregnant is a great option.

Additionally taking omega-3 supplements while pregnant can aid in the child being less hyperactive while growing up. Also a child who is hyperactive who takes a DHA/omega-3 supplement will likely receive benefits from the DHA/omega-3 supplement, relieving some of the hyperactivity.

http://email.babycenter.com/servlet/cc6?IHIPJQASSDQTVuHtpkHOxguJJoQhjnVaVSRVmkLjXpKVT3Fzg4oPVXLX

Christian Child Placement Service
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org

Marriage & Relationships - Emotional Red Flags

Emotional Red Flags
Angry

I'm not talking about one's ability to experience the feeling of anger; all of us should be able to identify that God-given emotion in our lives. I'm talking primarily about frozen anger- resentment. When we hold on to anger and don't address it, bad things often happen. There may be issues about unforgiveness in the person's life. Often, underlying anger is fear, hurt, or both. Metaphorically, the clenched fist feels a whole lot safer than the more vulnerable open palm.

It can also relate to the frequency and intensity of how anger is expressed. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered." Is it really stretching this verse to say, don't marry a hot-tempered person? I don't think so. "But he's got a good reason to be angry!" "You don't know what she's been through!" There are a lot of legitimate reasons people may struggle with anger, but marrying into it is like walking into a hornet's nest.

Men tend to have a tougher challenge facing their anger. They may either ignore it, denying its there, or they may explode. Ladies, seeing how he resolves his anger will be the difference between a red flag and a green light in your relationship.

There is no place for physical control or violence in a relationship! It is a major red flag that needs swift action like ending the relationship! Could someone get help for their violent ways? Yes, but you would need strong evidence that it has been thoroughly dealt with spiritually, emotionally, and with a significant time of violence-free living. Your friend getting help while remaining in the relationship runs the risk of pseudo recovery.

Lack of Self Control

If a person is merely the pursuer of one's latest desire or emotional experience, life will be interesting, to say the least. Does your friend follow through on commitments and plans? Does he lack the initiative to find and hold a job? Has she gotten into debt because of impulse spending? Have you looked at each other's credit histories? Does he lack control of his passions?

When a person's emotional state rides like a rollercoaster, there may be bio-chemical issues involved which may need to be evaluated by a doctor or psychiatrist. If that's the case, what changes will proper medication produce? How likely is the person to stay on the medication over time? There may be a legitimate explanation for one's actions, but those actions still need to be lived with if two marry. And if the behavior persists you have to decide if you can deal with that for a lifetime.

Self-Absorbed

How much of your friend's life revolves around himself? Does she have a very narrow flexibility quotient- is there only a thin range of your behaviors that are acceptable in her thinking? Does she need to get what she wants even when it inconveniences others? When the pursuit of a relationship is in full gear, it's easy to think we could live blissfully seeking our friend's interests into the sunset. If that doesn't wear off before marriage, you can count on it doing so after the vows have been exchanged.

You might think that you are acting selfishly when you want your friend to meet your needs. Look for balance. Philippians 2:4 says, "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others." It's a good thing to want your friend to show interest in your needs as well as those of others. We often get an accurate sense of a person's ability to sacrifice not by their response to a romantic relationship, but by one's reaction to others in need. Are you willing to be the tag along to your friend's self indulgence? I hope not.

What amount of energy does your friend give to appearance? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with working out or dying your hair. Some need to give more attention to their appearance. But is it in balance? Does it keep a person from serving others? Does it communicate a narcissistic tendency? Sometimes it's difficult to see because we're attracted to the results. Yet over time, the downside of self absorption will become more negatively evident and destructive to the relationship. Does your friend have a humble heart?

Victim Perspective

When a person struggles with distrust, one is only a step away from playing the role of the victim. We can call it by different names- hyper-sensitivity, self pity, critical, or martyrdom. The thread that connects these is a person's difficulty resolving pain and moving forward. Life is a series of whirlwinds that just don't seem to end. Other people or circumstances are perceived as the cause of undesirable events, and one is likely to blame just about every problem on just about everyone else. A person will take little responsibility for life's struggles. When married, it becomes very easy for a spouse to be blamed for one's lack of contentment.

Is there any truth to the person's perspective? Yes, probably a little. But when someone may not want to get past the pain, there's a good chance that they won't. And who ends up with the bull's eye on their chest? You do. In extreme cases, there may be a personality disorder that is involved that is pretty resistant to change. Does your friend own his shortcomings? Does she have a narrow band of acceptable behaviors for you? You may be able to put up with that for a while when the romantic feelings are sky high, but what happens when they're not?

It's easy to think that we can rescue the victim. That if we're able to express true love, godly love, that things will change. It's tempting, but it's a trap.
2011 Focus on the Family.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing_for_marriage/red-flags-in-a-relationship/emotional-red-flags.aspx

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Marriage & Relationships - Overview

In a relationship?

Recently met someone who caught your interest?

Been dating for quite some time?  You've identified the other person's strengths, but have also discovered some traits that leave you scratching your head.

In either case, you have probably found that many forces push you forward in your relationship.

Your own sense of loneliness and that God-given desire for connection can nudge you further in a relationship until the steps toward the altar just seem to get easier and easier. Let's say you're already in love. Talk about an influence that changes behavior! Few factors have more horse power than romance.

The forces that compel you to move forward are not out to destroy you. But with so many of them urging you toward marriage, it's wise to pause and ask yourself some questions that might prevent heartache down the road. You need to decide what to do with this relationship; no other person can make that decision for you. I've spoken with people who didn't take the time to think through their relationship. They acted solely on their feelings and tied the knot. Once married, they wanted to be faithful to that covenant, but they experienced difficulties that could have been avoided.

Once a couple has committed at the altar to be faithful "till death us do part,"  that is indeed the true path of faithfulness; facing pain can certainly refine us, but we don't get extra credit for walking into it, especially when it can be avoided.  But how would their lives have turned out had they taken the time to explore the red flags that were at least partially visible?

Marriage is great; it's a fantastic gift from God. My hope is that many of you do move forward and make that promise for life. But I've heard it said: "I'd rather be single and wish I were married, than married and wish I were single." It's one thing to be lonely alone, it's an even more distressing experience to be with someone and still be lonely. Now is the time to look carefully at who you will marry – not after rings are exchanged! Even if you're in a great relationship, asking yourself the tough questions now will only create a greater level of confidence and appreciation if you do decide to marry.

Every potential mate has a deficiency. It's called sin. Romans 3:10 says, "There is no one righteous, not even one." Every single romantic relationship has been impacted by the foolishness of two rebellious hearts! If you're looking for the perfect mate, stop. You won't find him. She doesn't exist.

Some will say, "Since no one's perfect, it really doesn't matter who I chose to marry. We're all flawed." Some will even take it a step further and say, "It's about being the right person, not finding the right person." Yes, there's some truth there, but the Bible makes distinctions between the foolish and the wise. Though we all are a mixture of both, there are some qualitative differences between people. It does matter who you marry!

When we're excited about a relationship, it's easy to overlook the red flags that at least need to be explored. We want to be married; this special person makes us feel wonderful (at least most of the time). We know some things about this person, but we sometimes fill in the gaps with what we want him or her to be like. Yet we often don't fill them in accurately. As you continue to read posts, please do so with an open mind. You just might find that some of the red flags actually relate to you, not your significant other.
2011 Focus on the Family.
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/preparing_for_marriage/red-flags-in-a-relationship.aspx

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Parenting Alone

Could I handle being a single parent?

Will the baby’s father follow through with promises he made to me for financial support?

Will I be able to raise my child alone without degrading the father of the baby?

Will I financially be able to raise a child alone?

How will I finish my education and raise a baby?

Who will watch my baby when I go to work?

How will I feel when I have to give up my freedoms for the baby, will I resent the baby?

These may be questions a person facing parenting alone might ask.  We would be glad to help anyone facing the possibility of parenting alone, sort through their questions and emotions so they can find the best solution for their unexpected situation.

e-mail: help@pregnantandalone.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229

Three Catagories to having a Successful Marriage

#1 Emotional Health
     Emotional Health Concerns:

1. Emotional Emptiness
2. Low Self-Esteem
3. Fear of Emotions
4. Character Disorders
5. Anger Mismanagement

    Consistent Qualities of Emotionally Healthy People:

1. Not desperate to impress others
2. Do not need to be perfect
3. They are not hesitant about using professional resources
4. Don't judge worth on external factors
5. Overcome major problems with external solutions
6. Emphasize the spiritual dimension

#2 Commitment

1. Marriage is Hard Work
2. Be Active- Love! Honor! Cherish! Nourish! Action!

#3 Skill Building

1. Dream Together
2. Communicate at a deep level
3. Resolve conflict in a healthy way
4. Negotiate a mutually satisfying sexual relationship
5. Pursue Spirituality

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Adoption - Birth Parent Needs

Physical Needs of a birth parent:

• understand the adoption process
• know the adoptive parents are healthy
• know that the adoptive parents are "good" people
• know that the adoptive parents are financially secure, have a home, education, carer
• will or does the adoptee have siblings in the adoptive home
• how will the extended family accept the adoptee
• will one of the parents stay at home with the child
• mother and father with a stable marriage
• adoptive parents keeping their word about correspondence
• confidentiality about adoptive placement
• safe environment for the adoptee
• they are in a safe environment themselves , so they are able to understand the adoption process without any threat to themselves.
• they have their housing and food needs met so they are not worried about external issues and can focus on the best choice for them and the baby.

Emotional Needs of a birth parent:

• know that the child will be told about the birth parent their whole life
• the adoptee will be taught to love them, by their adoptive parents
• the birth parents are making the adoptive placement decision on their own free will
• know that the baby will have a better chance at a better life, and a stable home than they can provide at this time
• understand that there has not been a cycle of abuse in the adoptive parents life
• understand the grieving process they are likely to go through

Special Requests from birth parents:

• want the child to be raised in a family from a particular religion
• that the adoptive family has pets
• same cultural background as the adoptee
• child have own room
• etc.

We provide options counseling on ALL options with an unplanned pregnancy; we provide free services for anyone in an unplanned pregnancy so they can make a fully informed decision about their unplanned pregnancy.  If someone you know would like to talk about their options with a pregnancy and their needs at this time we are here to listen and help:

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

If I have an Abortion...

Questions you may ask while considering an abortion:

• Will I remember the date the child would have been born if I have an abortion?
• How will I feel if I have an abortion but never have any other children?
• What if I get pregnant again, would I get another abortion?
• What does my partner think about considering an abortion?
• Will I have to keep my abortion a secret from family and friends?
• What does God think about me getting an abortion?

Finding yourself in an unplanned pregnancy and not knowing where to turn can be very scary and lonely.  We are here to listen and help.  We provide free services for anyone in an unplanned pregnancy so they can make a fully informed decision about their unplanned pregnancy.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Sanctus Real "Lead Me" - Passion, Intimacy, Commitment

Commitment

• Is the foundation to a relationship
• It is the decision to love
• It is the willful part of love

Passion

• Biology part of love / relationship
• Hormonal part of love / relationship

Intimacy

• Emotional side of a relationship

What is your love style, to have a whole relationship each of these aspects is needed for it to be sucessful.

Two whole people are needed to make a whole relationship.

Needing help with an unexpected pregnancy that is causing relationship troubles, contact us we would be pleased to support you during this difficult time!

e-mail: help@pregnantandalone.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229

Nutrition for Two- Pregnancy

A pregnant woman's nutritional needs each day:

Fruits, 2 cups a day:
*Eat a variety of fruits
*1 cup of fruit or fruit juice
*or 1/2 cup dried fruit

Vegetables, 2 1/2 cups a day:
*Eat a variety of vegetables
*1 cup raw or cooked vegetables of juice
*of 2 cups raw leafy vegetables

Grains, 6 ounces a day:
*Choose whole grains (not refined grains)
*1 cup cereal or
*1/2 cup pasta, or rice

Meat & Beans, 5 1/2 ounces a day:
*Choose lean protein
*1 cup lean meat or
*1/4 beans or
*1/2 ounce nuts or
* 1 egg or
*tablespoon peanut butter

Milk, 3 cups a day:
*Choose low fat of fat free
*1 cup milk or
*8 ounces of yogurt or
*1 ounce cheese

Check with your doctor on the above information, these amounts are for an average pregnant woman.  Check with your doctor to make sure your weight gain is on target. 

Do not drink any amount of alcohol while pregnant.

Take a prenatal vitamin and folic acid every day in addition to eating a healthy diet.  But don't eat too much at one time. 

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Have you Bridged the Gender gap? - unexpected pregnancy -

Men tend to want to:

• Solve problems
• Share information
• Be admired
• Share activities

Women tend to want to:

• Improve the relationship
• Connect with mate
• Be desired
• Be cherished

With these differences in mind can you say what you mean and understand what you hear?

Everyone needs to:

• Be Genuine
• Accept Others
• Clarify what you say
• Reflect back what others say

By being empathetic genuineness opens up the other person to be able to express themselves to the other person better.


The equation xyz will be able to be put the above into effect:
When you do x I feel y and that results in z.

If you are looking for someone to help you through an unexpected pregnancy we are here to help.  We can help you understand where your relationship is at with your partner, and provide information for you about all of your options with your pregnancy.

help@pregnantandalone.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY)

Preparing for Marriage- Unplanned Pregnancy

To enter in a marriage and have it be successful each partner must have a positive self-conception.

Negative self-conception is sometimes revealed by unspoken rules that we may not even know that we have until our partner breaks the unspoken rule. 

Four MYTHS that you may believe:

1. Each partner expects the same things from the marriage.
2. The good things in our marriage will just keep getting better and better.
3. All of the bad things in my life will go away because of marriage.
4. My spouse should complete me (make me whole).

Get yourself emotionally healthy before you get yourself married.

Two whole people = a whole marriage.

If you are considering entering a marriage relationship please seriously consider these concepts and thoughts. If you contemplating getting married because of an unplanned pregnancy these ideas should be looked at even closer.  I do feel that a child receives a better well rounded up bringing by being parented by a mother and a father, but if the parents enter in a marriage without each of them becoming whole first the child will be exposed to a lot of emotional faults and turmoil by both parents. 

Options to parenting unprepared include placing the child for adoption in a home with a mother and father, then later starting a family once emotional healing is reached.  Placing the child in the care of a family member until able to parent.  Voluntarily placing the child into a residential care program until home life is stable. 

So many children end up being removed from their home and placed into state foster care because their parents were unprepared to parent and did not have the skills to parent them in a healthy way.  Please consider all of your options before you choose what you want for your child.

Expectant parents with an unplanned pregnancy who would like help and support can contact us anytime day or night. We provide information on all options with an unexpected pregnancy and all of our adoption services for birth parents are free.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14

Abortion

Abby Johnson shares how just before the end of her employment with Planned Parenthood she took part in an abortion of a 13 week old unborn baby. Abby stated that she could see on the ultrasound monitor a perfect profile of the 13 week old baby before the abortion. She stated that the baby was trying to get away from the abortion probe.  Abby was told that the baby could not feel pain before 21 weeks gestation, but she realized that was not true when the baby was fighting for its life. 

Abby stated as part of her job at Planned Parenthood she answered questions that the women had. She reported that many of the women that asked her questions, asked "Will my baby feel the abortion?" and she told them NO. Abby stated she was trained to say that the baby's don't feel the abortion by Planned Parenthood proving again that Planned Parenthood lies to women.

Every time an abortion occures a child dies and a mother is emotionally scared.

If every day, 3 jumbo jets crashed—killing all on board—it would still not equal the number of those killed by Planned Parenthood.

We provide options counseling on ALL of options with an unplanned pregnancy; we provide free services for anyone in an unplanned pregnancy so they can make a fully informed decision about their unplanned pregnancy.

Christian Child Placement Service
e-mail: adopt@nmcch.org
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
http://www.facebook.com/Adoption.aChoiceforLife
1-800-553-2229 (BABY) ex.14