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I am always alert to adoption in the media and how adoption is viewed on TV... and other media resources. Something that I recently have been thinking about is how the media portrays children who have been adopted and how the adoptive family tells the child they are adopted.
Our agency teaches the adoptive parents that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. We teach that the family should use correct adoption language the child's whole life so that there is not a stigma attached to adoption. When the child is young they may not understand words like birth mom or adoption, but as the adoptive family raises the child, they will quickly understand everything. So waiting to tell a child they are adopted...ends up being, there was just never a good time to bring it up, or when the child was told..."at an appropriate age," they have a hard time because they feel that their parents have been lying to them and now they cannot trust them.
A story we share with our adoptive couples is:
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally the female bird turned to her mate.
“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.
From newfunpages.com 4-26-2005
Like I stated before, from the beginning...even before they can understand...HONESTY is always the best policy!
1-800-553-2229
http://www.adoptnewmexico.org/
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